Name Withheld: I should be bird-dogging chicks at Coney Island

I have no idea what that phrase means, but it sounds perverse and fun.
Let me toot my pity whistle for a second:
   On Friday my doom awaited me: a calculus test, second period. I had studied; if that means attempting a problem and then doodling expletives as an answer. I was walking towards the classroom that housed that calculus test, when my name was called over the intercom, "Carmella Mingo is needed in the counseling office." Like Micheal Jackson, I pivoted around and then, like a geriatric, I slowly walked towards the front of the school. The orthopedic steps were taken to stall as much as possible. In the counselor's office I fixed the mistake on my college application. I could have left, and made it back in time for calculus, but the counselor asked a question.
   "So how is it with your friend?"
   Oh right, I remembered, my mom told my school counselor about the guy I'm dating. I just love her. Under normal circumstances I would have circumvented any conversation and I would have promptly skirted out of the room, but I had a calculus test to skip.
   I had an hour and a half of girl talk..the hour and a half it would have taken me to complete my calculus test. Now here's the self-pity part: I am taking the test tomorrow and I have to study for it.

I am a generic teenage girl that listens to pop music on the radio. (Hey hipsters reading: fuck you <3)

these are the songs I am obsessed* with

*obsessed in this case means: switching radio stations every 2.1 seconds, in hopes of getting this one particular song. In the case of said song coming on the radio: scream fit, ear-bleeding volume, and a performance worthy of broadway in the confines of my Honda. People at red lights stare...and maybe point and laugh.

Rihanna- Only Girl (In the World)

The video is average, but the song is fist-pumping fabulous-nessss

Like a G6
the term 'slizzard' is totally my thing